Crack Nuts

Aptly named by my boyfriend's dad, you can't eat just one. These little guys make a nice, sweet snack, or a great topping for ice cream, salads, etc... You can use whatever nuts you want, really, but I recommend walnuts, pecans, almonds, or a mixture of the three. Walnuts are usually my go to choice, but only because pecans are more expensive. ;-)

What you need:
*butter
*brown sugar
*vanilla extract (imitation will do if that's all you have)
*salt
*cinnamon
*nuts!

To be honest, I'm not one to be strict about measuring ingredients, and these always turn out delicious. So you know, use your discretion based on the ingredients you have available to you.

Melt butter in a frying pan over medium heat. Not quite a Paula Dean amount of butter, but you want there to be enough to entirely and thickly coat the bottom of your frying pan. Carefully, add your vanilla-just a splash will do, as this stuff is generally strong, and the addition of alcoholic substances to hot pans can end badly if the heat is too high (read: you might catch something on fire). Next, add your nuts. Shake them around in the pan until they're completed coated with the vanilla butter mixture. Next, add a nice, heaping handful (Or cup. Whatever) of brown sugar (regular sugar will work too). Stir well, and remove from heat.

Spread your mock caramely nut mixture over a sheet of tin foil. Sprinkle liberally with salt, and just a dash of cinnamon, or if you have it, Penzey's Baking or Pumpkin Pie spice. It's strongly recommended you allow them to cool before consuming...unless you like hot nuts in your mouth (I know it sounds funny, but 2nd degree burns on your tongue are not as amusing as you'd think). Nuts should be toasty and candy like, and ultimately delicious.

Domestic Goddess Guacamole

Actually, according to the recipe, this stuff is called Caribbean guacamole. However, after first tasting it, my boyfriend declared me a domestic goddess, so I figure I'll roll with it.

I can't take credit for scheming up this delectable concoction. I found the recipe on avocado.org, but rather than follow the directions, I just threw it together using the ingredients in the amounts I had. I cannot lie-when it was completed, it looked somewhat like vomit. I sliced some limes and stuck them on top to keep it fresh, stuck it in the fridge, and waited for my boyfriend to come home and guinea pig it for me, since I was little afraid. His reaction was favorable, so I had some myself, and it tastes like a tropical summer. Do not let looks fool you, as this is way more delicious that it appears. Here's what you'll need:

Domestic Goddess Caribbean Guacamole
*2-4 limes (2 if eating immediately, more if planning to store or transport)
*2-4 large, ripe Hass avocados, or whichever avocados you have handy
*1-2 fresh mangos (or 1-2 cups of canned)
*1 can of diced pineapple (fresh is better if you have it on hand)
*fresh cracked coconut (or 1/2 cup unsweetened flake coconut, if you're not that determined)
*salt
*red pepper flake

Generally, fresh will taste better, but if you're not inclined to do the extra work involved with extracting fresh coconut or mango, the pre-packaged stuff will get the job done. However, if you want to go fresh but have never worked with these ingredients before, continue reading (it's like a choose your own adventure!):

Extracting Pineapple:
Just kidding. I've never done it, so you're on your own. I'd imagine a good start involves a large, sharp knife, though.

Extracting Coconut:
There are several ways you can do this. The prim and proper way usually involves drilling or nailing into the three holes on the shell, and letting the water drip out into a glass, then cracking the shell with a hammer or cleaver. I have enjoyed enetertaining moments as a child, watching my mother hammer away at a coocnut while cursing, but if you're not too concerned with keeping the water or you're worried you'll nail yourself, there are easier ways.

You can bake the coconut for 10-15 minutes in a 450* oven. You'll still need to drill those holes though, to let the water out ahead of time, but the heat will cause the coconut to crack.

The third method, which is my preferred method, requires only a few plastic grocery bags and some pent up rage. Double or triple bag the coconut, take it outside, and fling it as hard as you can against the pavement. Do this several times. The water will get everywhere, but that's why this is an outdoors activity. The coconut should be in small, easy to manage pieces. Use a cheese grater to grate up about a half cup or so of fresh coconut flakes.

Extracting Mango:
Mangos are an enigmatic fruit. They're kind of big, but they contain deceptively little meat once you get rid of the unedible bits. First things first, use a vegetable peeler or paring knife to remove the thick outer skin. Stand the mango upright (if you have them, those little things you jab into corn on the cob help to use as a handle), and slice off the 'cheeks'. If you hit something tough and fibrous, that's the core, which is not useable, so slice around it. It's kind of like cutting an apple, but you'll cut a little further out since the mango has a much larger core. Cube the remaining fruit.

Extracting Avocado:
Avocados are pretty easy to peel. Take a knife, and slice from the top of the avocado, in an even line, all the way around the fruit. It should separate into two halves,at which point you can use a spoon to remove the large pit. The skin should peel away in one piece, you just might have to get your finger nails in there to get it away from the fruit and started. Discard the skin, slice the avocado, then cube.

Combine all your fresh ingredients into one bowl. Slice the limes in half, and squeeze the juice on top. Add a liberal shake each of salt and red pepper flake. Mix well, and enjoy!

Not Just Another Cooking Blog (Okay Maybe It is)

The funny (read: terrible) thing about my post baccalaureate education, is that it was determined all too fast, on little more than a whim. I applied to culinary school and grad school at the same time. Grad school was cheaper, so that's where I went. Aside from the fact that there's 2 years and $30,000 or so I'll never get back, I've always kind of wondered what would have happened if I'd gone the culinary route. My neighbors seem convinced I would have developed a nasty coke habit, but I'm not so sure. Most of the people in my immediate circle of friends can't cook for shit, so I'm always the one experimenting in the kitchen. Some of these experiments are successes, and others are failures. This blog will be the documentation of those culinary adventures.

Bon Appetit!